Revitalize that Old Computer

It used to seem so fast ... when you took it out of the box and plugged in your DSL, Internet Explorer 6 loaded your e-trade portfolio almost instantly.  And Pets.com was up another 10%.  Of course it was, who wouldn't want to buy low cost expensive to ship products over the internet?  But times have changed, some one convinced you to upgrade to Vista, you opened too many "suspect" attachments and your son learned how to google "boobs".  Now it hardly starts up and you can't understand why Norton won't update anymore(answer: it has given up on you).  At this point, old computers are almost beyond hope, but if your intended uses are limited to things like "check email, check facebook, search for porn funny knock knock jokes" then I'd highly recommend you try out Jolicloud.

Warning:  Installing Jolicloud in its fastest form will erase EVERYTHING on your computer.  So before you do, get an external hard drive like THIS and move everything over to it including your My Documents, Pictures, Music (all iTunes files) and anything you want from your desktop.  Your programs will be gone, your settings will be gone, it will all be gone.  Acceptance is the first step.

Let's do a quick Pros - Cons list for Jolicloud to see if this project is worth it

Pros:
1.  It will drastically speed up even 10 year old laptops.
2.  You don't have to worry about viruses since it runs Linux (and there isn't much to infect)
3.  You can tell people you're running linux and then look down at them.

Cons:
1.  The operating system is very very limited.  It has an open sourced version of MS Office called Open Office. You'll get by in a pinch, but I wouldn't want to be using it every day.
2.  It can only play web based games, so no Starcraft II for you.
3.  It can handle digital pictures alright (via web based editing tools like Picasa) but I find that to be useful "in a pinch" as well
4.  No iTunes.
5.  This is weird, but really to use the computer you have to be connected to the internet.  This makes sense though, everything I've written above says that the computer is good for doing stuff on the internet, so what good would it be without the internet.

So I think you see where this is heading, if this is a second computer or your plain vanilla. you'll love Jolicloud like I love Jolicloud.  If you try to turn it into your new school/work/gaming machine, it won't cut it.

Where can I find it:
http://www.jolicloud.com/download/jolicloud-iso/thank-you

When that is downloaded, you'll need to "burn" it to a cd.  You can buy cds here.  Hey I didn't say the 21st century would be cheap.  Put a blank one in the drive and then right click on the .iso file you downloaded and hope it says "burn disc image".  If it doesn't, you've hit your first snag.  Either google "burn iso to disc" and download what you find or wait for me to right a post. Or bug the nephew you always bug anyways and mention this will be the last time (again).  Let's hope it burned.  New make sure it is back in the drive and restart the computer.  More than likely the computer will boot to Jolicloud's installation process   I'll paste the steps below (stolen and highlighted from the Jolicloud website.

Step 1 - Welcome screen: enter the language you want to use for the installation process and as default language on your system. Click ‘Forward’.

Step 2 - Time Zone: Select your time zone on the world map, or type in your location at the bottom of the screen. Click ‘Forward’.

Step 3 - Keyboard Layout: Select your preferred keyboard layout. Click ‘Forward.'

Step 4 - Prepare disk space (Partitioner): Choose Use the entire disk.  Click ‘Forward’.

Step 5 - Who are you? Enter your details and chose a password to protect your account. Click ‘Forward’.

Ready to install: Review your details. Click ‘Install’.

 Your device is now ready to install Jolicloud!

Sit back, we are taking care of everything. This step will take about 10 mns. Check our slideshow while Jolicloud installs to learn more about our OS.

Once the installation is complete, you will see a pop up prompting you to restart your machine. Click on ‘Restart now’.

You can now remove your CD from the drive.

Congratulations! You have successfully installed Jolicloud on your device.

After booting Jolicloud for the first time, you need to be connected to the Internet in order to contiue.

Notes:

• You need an Internet connection only the first time. Then, you can use Jolicloud even if you're not connected to the Internet. 

If you're not automatically connected, click on the icon at the top right of the screen to select your network.

Enter a password if necessary.

When you're connected, click the "I'm online now!" button.

If you already have a Jolicloud account, you can sign in by using Facebook Connect, or by entering your username and password. If you're a new user, you have to create an account with the Sign Up tab.

After you're logged in, you have to activate your device.

When you're done, click "Close."

Ok, Jolicloud away.  Try out the internet via chrome... fine new Apps in Add+ and enjoy your new lease on life.